Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A New Way

I wrote my story and how I dealt with my dad having Early Onset Alzheimer's, I have posted different links, and what I have thought was good information.  I have gotten involved with groups and have been trying to get a website built.  I've been asked what is next, and to keep posting.  I just have been blank about what to write.  I've also been doing a lot of reading and research for content to put on the web site. 
I guess I'll just sort of pick up where my journey left off, and write how I deal with this disease in my day to day life.  I again do not know if I or my older sister have the mutated gene that our dad carried, but other family members do.  So, my journey and fight for Alzheimer's will never be over until the blessed day there is a cure. 

Since I have opened my heart and eyes to my past and possible future there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what I need to be doing.  I am a wife and mother and that is my number one priority so that makes other activities hard to do everyday.  I get overwhelmed with all the information that is available now because I want to pass it on to every single person in the world.  I want to look some people straight in the face and say "LOOK! This isn't just happening to older people.  This is happening to people as young as 30.  This needs a cure!!  NOW!"  I get discouraged with myself because I'm not as of a "go get'er" like I would like to be, and I have so much going on I can't find the time to go volunteer to at least get my foot in the door.   Then, I have to stop and think about my life right now in this very moment.  My husband and four young children need me now.  Not crazy minded about this disease and pre occupied with it so much.  They need me to be me now, because I have no idea what my future holds. 
I get so wrapped up in reading these blogs that I follow and start hurting for these people that it sometimes effects my attitude and perspective.  I just want to help all these people that live hundreds of miles away, and I can't. It makes me feel useless sometimes.

With the holidays here I always miss my dad more.  I think that is normal to miss a loved one during special family gatherings.  I wish he was still here to be making memories with us and not just remembering the memories we have of him.  Everyday we have with someone is a day to be making memories with them.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.